Blood and Lust (The Blood Chronicles Book 1) Read online

  “You know, I’ve always wanted to kiss you Jude,” she smiled. “But I never thought you would kiss me back”

  “Well, I’m here now,” I smiled and pulling her into a kiss.

  Every part of the kiss felt wrong. I felt guilt as soon as our lips touch and I instantly pulled away cursing under my breath. I couldn’t even move on from Shay. I could just picture her on his bed moaning and giving in to him and all I wanted was a drink. I threw my back in frustration. I needed to move on. I needed to forget about her.

  Miranda to my face into her hands and forced me to look at her. “What is it?”

  I closed my eyes to push Shay out of my mind. “Nothing,” I lied. I opened my eyes and brought her into a deep kiss. Her hands found my chest and she slowly started to grind herself on my cock. I wanted to enjoy but the problem was I still soft and so frustrated with her not being Shay. I wanted this moment with Shay, not Miranda. I wanted to hear her moaning my name and telling me that she loves. I wanted Shay.

  Miranda placed kisses down my jaw line and down to my neck as she tried to pull my shirt off. But I grabbed her hands and held them against her.

  “I can’t,” I finally breathed disappointed with myself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

  Her eyes widen with confusion and disbelief. “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this.”

  “I-I did. I mean I do but I can’t. It’s just hard to explain.”

  She frowned and crawled back to the passenger side.

  “I’ll drop you back off at the bar.” I replied as I started the engine. She didn’t say anything and as I pulled off I sighed with relief. No matter how hard I was pushing myself to forget Shay, I realized I wasn’t ready to give up on her. I wasn’t ready to move on.

  After I dropped her off back at the bar, I sat in my truck and looked up at the stars. Driving home wasn’t something I was in the move for. Too much there to remind me her. Instead I decided it was best to just stay here looking up at the sky. I looked around the passenger side of my truck, knowing I had a flask tucked away between the cushion and the arm rest. The thought of whiskey made my mouth water and I couldn’t help but feel some sort of relief when I pulled the hidden flask out. But just as I placed it to my lips a burning sensation hit me hard on the left side of my chest. It was the mark. It sent pain and throughout my body. It was almost crippling. Something was wrong. Shay was in trouble and I could sense her pain. I needed to get to her.

  Chapter 15

  Shay

  I paced back and forth staring at the night gown Sebastian had left out for me. It was beautiful laced gown that looked as if it would fall just a few inches above my knees. Tonight was the night I was going to give myself to him. Tonight we would bound ourselves together through body and blood.

  I swallowed hard and stopped to look myself over in the mirror. I was nervous and scared. I couldn’t help but wonder if I could be pregnant and what that would do to Jude. Just the thought made me sick. I hoped with every part of me that I wasn’t. How would I look at my child and tell him/her that Sebastian was their father knowing that Jude was somewhere out there unknowing? I wasn’t sure if I could do that him. He didn’t deserve it.

  How did it come to this? I ached for Jude. I needed to see him but I couldn’t go back on my decision. I wondered if he was falling apart without me. If he was, it was my own doing. He needed me and I left him. He was my sworn guardian and I walked away. No matter the reason, I left Jude and I could never forgive myself.

  Maybe I wouldn’t have to…maybe once I taste Sebastian’s blood all desire for Jude would wash away. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the best outcome. Did I need the binding more than I thought? I touched my hand to my belly and let the thought of pregnancy take me over. I was overwhelmed by the sadness of carrying his child. Sebastian was doing a noble thing. He was willing to take on a child that wasn’t his to protect myself and Jude.

  A very large part of me wanted to be pregnant. Wanted to have a piece of Jude forever. Was that so wrong? Perhaps I was being selfish to think that carrying his child would keep him close to me. Foolish as it sounded, I smiled at the thought. If I had a boy, I wondered if he would favor him, and if I had a girl, I could only hope she’d have his smile and his beautiful brown eyes.

  I remembered the night I told Jude who and what I really was. It was under the moonlight laying in a field on a warm summer night. We both should have been home that night because we had school in the morning, but instead we stared up at the stars counting as many as we could see. When we both reached a number we were satisfied with, he turned to me and said “I don’t think I ever want to go home.” I knew then that we would always stay friends. I propped myself up with my elbow and twisted the grass in my hands.

  “Jude, can I tell you a secret.”

  He gave me his biggest boyish smile and nodded. I was so nervous. I remember feeling like I was laying on hot coals. But I never felt so connected with anyone before. I could only hope that I wouldn’t scare him off.

  “I’m not human.” I whispered as if there were others around us. I knew that there was no one in ear shot, but was too nervous to say it loud.

  He wrinkled his nose as he gave me a bewildered look. “What are ya?” he questioned listening intently.

  I swallowed hard and the wind tossed my curls about.

  “Well…um I’m a vampire.” I stammered out.

  His eyes widen in shock and disbelief. I could tell he didn’t believe me but he also knew I wasn’t one to lie.

  “Prove it,” he urged.

  “How,” I questioned.

  He looked around for a brief moment as he tried to settle on an answer. “Show me your fangs?”

  I smiled at his request and opened my mouth showed him them. He nearly jumped back ten feet when they came down and I giggled.

  He didn’t say anything for the next few moments, and I wondered if I had scared him off. After another minute or two passed up, he looked at me and said “Thank you,”

  I raised my brow in bewilderment and tucked a few loose curls behind my ear. I never expected him to thank me.

  “For what?”

  He licked his lips and looked back up at the sky before answering me. “For trusting me enough to tell me.”

  I stopped pulling up the grass and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. When I moved away from his cheek I could see how red he became and I giggled again. He looked away shyly and then looked into my eyes.

  “Will you go to the spring dance with me?” he asked nervously.

  I nodded instantly. There was nothing more that I wanted to do then go with him to the dance.

  He smiled and laid back on the ground with his hand tucked under his head. I laid back down as well and when I did, he his left hand reached for mine. The feeling of his warm hand in mine sent a sensation through my body that made me feel like everything was going to be okay. I felt safe and free. I felt like we only needed each other and it was an amazing feeling.

  I didn’t know then that in a few weeks my father would give him the choice to become my guardian or forget me forever.

  Tears filled my eyes and I was quick to wipe them away. The last thing Sebastian should see is me crying just before we bind ourselves together. I know he was losing something to. I had to be better than this.

  I turned back around to face the dress. It was time that I did the right thing. It was time that I become what he needed me to be. He was risking his life to save thousands of humans. He left the woman he loved to do that.

  I stepped closer to the mirror and pulled the hair tie out of my head that was holding my curls together in a neat bun. I wanted to look presentable, so I grabbed the hair brush and brush several strokes around my head. With each stroke, I could feel the nervousness inside of me building up. I let the brush slip from my fingers and closed my eyes. Breathe Shay. It will all be ok. I kept repeating those words over and over. I had to force myself to believe that it was tr
ue.

  A flash of memory passed through me, as I thought about him telling me I reminded him of Lou. I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to know if she was hurting just as much as Jude was. Did he push her away? Or was she willing to step aside and let him be with another. If she was, she was certainly better than me. The thought of Jude being with another woman made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Having another woman say she loved him in the throes of passion made want to break down into tears again.

  Would Jude find a replacement for me? Was it that simple?

  I opened my eyes again to stare at the person in the mirror. I wasn’t that girl excited to go to a summer dance anymore. I was a princess. A princess that had to play her part no matter what.

  Pulling my hair back, I reached for the gown and slowly pulled it off the hanger. My fingers trembled as I unbutton my pants. I let out a deep sigh and continued to unzip them. I started to wonder what Sebastian touch would feel like. Memories of the night I dreamt of him filled my head and a bit back a smile. The entire time he was touching me, all I could think of was Jude’s fingers and Jude’s lips. Would it be the same tonight? Sebastian has tried to be as patient with me as he could, and I respected him for that. I had no longer saw him as the monster I thought him to be.

  Just as I was about to slide my pants down my hips a knock came at the door and I quickly pulled up the zipper and re-buttoned my pants. I hadn’t expected Sebastian to come up so early. He had promised to give me time to get ready and that he would come up when I told him to.

  I licked my lips nervously as I headed to the door. Perhaps he had changed his mind and he wanted to get things over with as soon as possible.

  “I’m not ready-,” I called out as I swung the door. I stopped immediately when I realized it wasn’t him. Two of Sebastian’s huntsman stood at the door. The larger man smiled wickedly with his hand tucked behind him.

  “What’s going on?” I asked “Is something wrong with Sebastian.”

  The men didn’t answer. They only looked at me with cold yellow eyes as they made their way into the room.

  “W-where’s Sebastian?” I question as my worry sets in.

  The two men step aside and Gabe walks in. “Good evening Princess. Unfortunately, our dear Prince is tied up at the moment. I believe he wanted to handle something before the binding” he voice is deep and sinister.

  I could feel the sweat forming on my palms as I looked between the two men. “What a-are you doing?”

  Gabe lets out a deep breath and steps closer to me, closing the distance between us. I try to back up but he instantly grabs my arm and pulls me to him. I fall into his chest and he holds me there.

  “You know, what you said to Daniel really pleased me,” His hand travels slowly up my back and he grabs the back of my head yanking me back to look at his eyes. I cried out in pain pushing at him and he crushed his lips to mine taking away the power of my scream.

  “Now …now sweet Princess. Is that anyway to treat your future husband.” He grumbled giving me a disappointed look. “I have to say, you’re absolutely beautiful. When I saw you sitting next to Sebastian…” he paused and gave me a wicked grin. “Well let’s just say I’ve never wanted to taste someone so badly.”

  I pushed at the walls of his chest trying to fight him as much as I could, but his grip on me was too tight.

  “Good fight me. I love when they struggle.” He chuckled. The other two men let out a round of laughter and I began to cry.

  Gabe crushed his lips to mine again I pushed him away harder. “Don’t touch me!” I cried. “I’ll never bind myself to you!”

  He stepped back and put a finger to his chin. “You see that’s where you’re wrong Princess. Sebastian had the right idea. Marry the daughter of the largest clan and persuade her kind to work with us. But of course when I told his father about his plans, well let’s just say he was less than thrilled about his son stabbing him in the back. So now he wants me to take over both clans. Unite them if you will.”

  “You’re not of royal blood,” I spat. “My people will never follow you.”

  He laughed and stepped closer to me and I stood still afraid that he would hurt me again. “Yes, of course they won’t. Not at first anyway. But that’s why I have you. I will kill all those that disagree with my claim.” He took the padding of his thumb and wiped away the tears that had cascaded down my cheek. “Starting with your father and mother,”

  I smacked him hard across the face and the two men stepped forward but Gabe quickly raised his hand to keep them at bay.

  “I see you’re a little firecracker,” he licked his lips “I certainly hope you save some of that energy for the binding,” he teased.

  “Sebastian w-will find me,” I cried.

  “Oh I’m counting on it,” he retorted. Gabe turned to the men behind him and said “Hold her down,”

  The men quickly came towards me. The larger man pushed me on the bed and climb on top pinning my hands on either side of me, while the other covered my mouth.

  “I really hate to do this” Gabe sighed as he brought out the needle filled with some sort of contents. “But, I need you silent and quiet for this next part.” He stabbed the needle in my arm and the world instantly becomes hazy. My eyes become heavy and I try to fight to stay awake. It is a losing battle. The world goes dark and I know that I am in trouble.

  Chapter 16

  Sebastian

  I waited for her downstairs as the sounds of her heels clicking and clacking against the bathroom title sent a tingling sensation down my spine. Lou was getting ready for something. A night out or perhaps a date. The latter made me clench my fist into a ball as a reflex. She was humming some sort of song probably an 80’s throwback that was before her time. I loved when she hummed. It was something she did often without even knowing she was doing it. Her humming was the first thing I loved about her and the first memory I had of her. The sudden stop of sound because her heels were touching carpet let me know that she was heading downstairs. I followed every sound she made. From the closing of the bathroom door to her hand reaching out for the railing to help her stay steady as she walked down the stairs.

  Her long black hair was curled and flowing evenly across her shoulders. She was wearing a tight blue dress that fell just above her knees and red lipstick that brought out her full lips perfectly. She was a sight of pure beauty.

  “Sebastian,” she gasped when she noticed me sitting on her couch. Her fright quickly turned into relief as she finished making her way down the stairs.

  “You’ve been looking for me,” I breathed with a hint of enjoyment. “I thought I asked you not to do that.”

  She rolled her eyes, another thing I loved about her. She held on tightly to her black clutch purse and crossed her arms under her breast. The sudden push of her breast excited me and I did everything I could to not smile.

  “I didn’t agree to that,” she bit back.

  I placed my ankle across my knee and looked at her. I was keeping my distance to stop myself from pulling her into a kiss and giving her the punishment she so deserved.

  “Whether you agree or not, I asked you to not come looking for me.”

  She threw her arms up in frustration shaking her head. “That’s not fair. You have your men watching me, who by the way, aren’t all that good at sneaking around in the dark. And I can’t go looking for you,”

  I let out a round of laughter unable to contain my enjoyment with the way she spoke to me. With everyone else, I demanded respect but with her, I found myself bending to just about her every whim.

  But once I stopped laughing I put on a serious look to get my point across. “I am protecting you,”

  “No, you’re running away from me!” she shouted. I threw my had back on the couch and looked up the ceiling. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I couldn’t allow her to get hurt by me. I was making the right choice by letting her go.

  “Lou-,”

  “Why did you leave? Why d
id you stop coming around the clinic?” she asked her voice low and cracking. She was trying to fight the tears and I knew that it was all my fault. I closed the distance between up within an instant and pulled her right into my chest. She struggled for a brief moment before gripping my black jacket with both hands.

  I placed a kiss on the top of her head and inhaled the smell of coconut oil and hair spray. It had been months since we’ve been this close and I could already feel my cock pushing for attention.

  She looked up at me and I smiled down at her. “I have to keep you safe. You mean more to me than my own life.”

  She blinked a few times and rested her head back on my chest. A since of relief spread throughout my body and I placed my chin on the top of her head. We stood like that for a brief moment before I remembered why I had come.

  “I don’t want you looking for me anymore,” I replied as I broke the embrace.

  She held her clutch to her chest and walked over to the couch to sit down. “Is that what you came here to tell me. Not to try and find you, because if it is, then I wish I would have done it sooner. Maybe you would have visited before now.”

  I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. She wasn’t going to make this easy for me, and to be honest I wasn’t sure that I wanted her to.

  “I came because I wanted to see you.”

  “Why? She pushed. “We haven’t seen each other for six months. What’s changed now?”

  I didn’t want to answer her question with the truth. How was I supposed to tell her that I was binding myself to another woman? Once the binding was complete, I couldn’t be with anyone else. Shay’s blood and mine would be forever intertwined. After tonight, I may never feel what I feel for Lou in this moment ever again. The thought frightens me, but I didn’t let her to see it.

  “Nothing’s changed.” I lied.

  She let out an annoyed laugh and I knew she didn’t believe me. The point wasn’t for her to believe me, it was for her to understand that this was goodbye.

  “So what are you saying?” she questioned standing back up again. I could tell she wanted to close the distance but didn’t dare get caught up in my arms again.